Politically correct language
Grammar

Politically correct language


For the last couple of years we have been becoming more and more sensitive so as not to offend women, poor people and various minority groups. Nowadays we feel so easily insulted that we speak cautiously in a politically correct manner.


You wouldn't say 'poor' but 'financially underprivileged', not 'drug addict' but 'substance abuser', not 'unemployed' but 'non wage-earner', not 'foreign tourist' but 'overseas visitor', not 'prison convict' but 'guest of the correctional system'. My personal favourites (meaning the ones that made me giggle): not 'short person' but 'vertically challenged', analogically not 'fat person' but 'horizontally challenged' and not 'bald' but 'follically challenged'. Feminists seemed to have picked up on the idea and made things even more complicated (or shall I say ridiculous) making up words such as: 'shero' for 'hero' and 'personkind' for 'mankind'.


Although the idiocy of the situation occurs far less frequently in Polish there are some words which have only recently appeared in the language. We still aren't afraid to call somebody fat if they truly are fat, however, due to pressure from Western countries, there are certain words, usually of a racial or sexual nature, which are provided as substitutes for the ones that we have successfully used until recently. Example: Poles should no longer call people gay but we say they are 'loving differently'.


Time for personal reflection and a few tips:


If you're white and you're a male too, you are pretty much doomed. You just must feel guilty. Your ancestors are responsible for practically every injustice in this world... slavery, war, genocide, killing of animals... It's time to redress the balance. It's simple - you must be careful what you say, what you think and what you do. Since it's all too easy to insult somebody these days - I recommend you keep your mouth shut on most occasions. Being offensive is destructive and will not make the world a complete harmony of utopia, as in the John Lennon song "Imagine". Pay attention to the cosmetics you use - they can't be tested on animals. Try to find at least sixty different ways of using water - while you are taking a shower try brushing your teeth at the same time, don't let the water just flow away but use it afterwards for irrigating the lawn. An even better solution is to replace the lawn with a vegetable garden because from now on you will be forbidden to eat meat. Cows are animals and humans are animals. This means they both have certain rights - you eat meat - you eat humans. Analogically humans are cows. Subscribe to National Geographic and after reading, use the paper as an alternative source of fuel (or as toilet paper so that you don't have to buy any)






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